Guidance

           I wish I could understand God’s plan for my life and what he’s trying to show me. I feel like he had me and my ex boyfriend break up at the exact right time because I lost all my friends when I did and then there was nothing holding me back from doing the internship. If I was still dating him and had the same friends, I would not be where I am today. God had it happen at just the right time that he was no distractions and things that would keep me from doing this internship. As much as it hurt to have lost him and all my friends and to basically feel alone, it has to mean that God is going to do big things for me while I’m doing this internship for the next 10 months.

            But then at the same time, I’ve been having a lot of conflict inside my head about dong the internship because I don’t know if I want to be working in ministry or not. I’ve really been feeling lately that I’ve been lead to be a Book Editor. It’s been on my mind for a couple of months lately and since I had decided to do the internship, I pushed the thought out of my mind. But now of course, it’s all I can think about now a days. I’m really praying God shows me the right direction that he wants me to take.

            Then I remember that I’m feeling God had me do this internship for a reason otherwise he wouldn’t have removed the boyfriend and friends had I was too afraid to leave. But then I wonder if maybe, God had to remove them no matter what he wanted me to do otherwise I wouldn’t have left them and done anything different with my life. I really have no idea. There’s so many questions running around in my head and I’m really just praying for God’s wisdom and guidance in all of this.

           

           

            When it comes to if I want to be a Book Editor, it really lays heavy on my heart because I’ve always had the feeling like I’ve been called to do something with writing and reading and when it looked into it a couple months back, it was like I found the perfect plan. I had all the schooling I needed planned out and everything and I was ready to take the first steps with school. I don’t even know why I didn’t end up doing it. I don’t even remember what steps happened that took me from there to where I am today.

            But what a good friend of mine just clearly pointed out to me is that even if I were to be a Book Editor, where I am today is going to help me with that and that my destiny is intertwined with my Leader. That God has me where I am today for a divine purpose and that what I learn while I am doing this internship, is going to help me no matter what I decide to do with my life.