My Savior, Defender, You are my King

So I've been dealing with a lot of very intense back pains within the past week and it's really taking a lot out of me. I found out last Monday that I had a bladder infection and that was causing my back pains. My mom got me some over the counter medicine from a drugstore and it didn't really do anything so we proceeded to go make an appointment at the doctors office. With is not having insurance, doctor visits are extremely expensive and we tend to stay away from them unless really needed. The doctor gave me a medicine to take once a day for five days that should cure the bladder infection and make the back pain go away. It did help with the infection but the back pain only continued to get worse.
From this point we decided to call the doctors again and they decided to give me a medicine that should help with the severe pain. The medicine was supposed to make me drowsy so I could only take it when I was at home. It didn't work at all. It didn't make the pain go away AND it didn't make me tried at all. The pain has been continuing as well as headaches.
With that going on and then my car, that i just got less than a month ago, decided to shut off after i got out my driveway this morning. So, to say the least, today has been a rough day!

It wasn't until after i read my devotion for the day that i realized what I had been doing wrong and why I felt like everything was coming down hard on me all at once. I've been so busy with school and church and still trying to find time for family and friends outside of the internship and I realized I have completely left out the time that I need to be spending with God.  My devotion for today in Jesus Calling starts off with saying "Take time to be holy."  This felt like a wake up call to me because I have let this slip away from my everyday life when it should be the most important part! In my devotion it makes a really good point by saying, "(In setting time aside to be holy) You experience a nearness to Me that strengthens your faith and fills you with peace. You open yourself up to receive many blessings that I have prepared for you."
I've been looking at everything that's been going wrong and not setting time aside to focus and spend time with God. I found that just by doing that today and spending time in the word and talking to God, my day has got infinitely better already :) Plus it helps to have amazing people in my life that are always positive and encouraging me!

"All our troubles And all our tears, God our hope, He has overcome. All our failure, And all our fear, God our love, He has overcome. All our heartache, And all our pain, God our healer, He has overcome. All our burdens, And all our shame, God our freedom, He has overcome. All our troubles, And all our tears, God our hope, He has overcome. All our failures, And all our fear, God our love, He has overcome. God our justice, God our grace, God our freedom, He has overcome. God our refuge, God our strength, God is with us, He has overcome."
- Take Hear by Hillsong United

Everything Happens for a Reason

I've been having the hardest time when it comes to my old friends. I get so mad that we're not how we used to be and it really hurts me. It hurts to watch new people come into their lives and take the place in their lives that I was. I know God has more to this than what meets the eye and I know God has huge plans for my life and for theirs. I just wish this was easier for me.

Jeremiah 29:11

We the Redeemed, Hear us singing, You are Holy, You are Holy

These past couple weeks I have been worrying so much about what I'm going to be doing next year after the internship is done. I've been contemplating if I want to do another year of the internship or if I wanna start college or even just go into the work force and get my own apartment. This has been stressing me out so much, to the point of crying some nights because i work myself up so much.
I've been wanting to get this book in our book store at my church called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young that is a devotion and journal for everyday of the year. Every time I've tried to get this book, its either sold out or I'm broke when it is in stock. But my friend Daniel surprised me this morning with the book and I couldn't have been more ecstatic about finally getting my hands on this devotional. I rushed right to the cafe and opened it up to todays date and was ready to dive into it.
As soon as I opened it up and started reading, it amazed me how much it was speaking right to me. "Talk with Me about everything, letting the Light of my Presence shine on your hopes and plans...Do not try to hurry this process. If you want to work with Me, you have to accept My time frame. hurry is not in My nature." This was instantly like a wake up call for me and I really feel like these words were speaking directly to me and all the anxiety I was causing myself about my future. This is just a reminder to me that I need to calm down and stop worrying about the future for me that God already knows about and has everything planned for.
I love these God wake up calls (:

Psalm 36:9
"For with you is the fountain of life, in your light do we see light."

Hebrews 11:1
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."